I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
His hands were made for my vagina.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
