how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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