Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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