wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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