we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Couch. On fire.
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