i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
