so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have aggressive nipples.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
