so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize