Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
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