she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm really busy with my period
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