I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
