didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have fence marks all over my body
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize