matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
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