I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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