I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
