Define "chronic" masturbator.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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