Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
