This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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