five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
