No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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