sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
