Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
