Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
