I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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