Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
