shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
