you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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