Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
