Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
