The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
