Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
