Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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