how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
