My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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