So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
