Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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