What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you inspire me to be a worse person
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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