Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
