if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize