Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
