you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
