Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
