I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
too bad you live with your parents still
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
