Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
