you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
