Got a toothbrush?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
