sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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