PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
