I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
