week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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