You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
