how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
