we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Randomize
