i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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