If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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