Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
