Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
